Beautiful Cost of Grief

The very definition of grief depicts the image of deep suffering. The Latin word “gwere” means, “ mental pain, or sorrow.” When a loved one passes away, its not just an emotional suffering that one experiences, but it also is felt physically in the body. Studies show the impact grief and sorrow has on both our mind and bodies. Grief is EXHAUSTING. As much as we try to prepare for grief, there is a chaotic and often unnatural feel to the process of deep loss. The cost of loving someone is often the deep pain we feel when sorrow comes in massive waves, and never at the times we want them to come. Flashes of memories, and words that were shared, and what it feels like to be in the presence of our most loved and dear hit us when we are least expecting them to come. At the grocery store, filling up the car with gas, someone is talking and somehow what they say reminds you of your loss. At night when all is quiet and there is a moment to reflect and remember, when no one else will hear the sobs that soak the pillow. This too is all the cost of grief, of being loved and being in relationship. Of being known and showing up, and seeing the person across from you as someone who is special and makes life richer because of it. Who sees you, and loves you despite own flaws and weaknesses. Who you love deeply despite their own flaws.

We were created for relationships, we are relational beings. Life would not be as rich or as beautiful if not for the relationships we have the great pleasure and honour of having. Often we rub shoulders with each other, and at times it’s not easy because everyone has their own unique quirks; yet life is truly beautiful because we are able to do it together. In the messiness of it all. At the end of the day, it is worth it, because for a small amount of time, your heart has been impacted by another soul, and life is better because of it.

The beautiful thing about sorrow and grieve, is we get to choose what to do with it. To allow it to speak when needed, to allow others around us to hold us and give comfort and to be strengthened by those around us. We can choose how we will remember and carry our loved ones in our hearts, and hold onto the good and the hard parts, the lessons learnt along the way. Time may lessen how much it hurts, but the longing for their presence may still remain. While there is hope in sorrow knowing we will meet again, it does not lessen the impact of the loss. To honour the process, is to allow sorrow and grief to come and to know that you loved deeply, and will continue to intentionally love and appreciate those in your life. You never know how much time you will have with those you can’t imagine life without. Fully show up, be present, make memories and have those conversations you always wanted to have but never had the courage to have.

Grief and sorrow is hard, and at times deeply isolating because no one really knows how much your heart hurts or misses your loved one. Yet it is beautiful, costly, and worth it because of the valuable time once spent.It is not easy to say goodbye, this too feels deeply unnatural because we were originally created to live forever. In the brokenness of this world, we are forced to say goodbye, at least for a moment until we meet again. This is yet another cost of grief, yet this pain and sorrow of goodbye for now is also a beautiful cost of grief. For we have been able to have time together and the impact has been life changing.